Emotions Overcome Logic! - 6/4/2008
A while back I spent a wonderful hour on the telephone, speaking with a very smart professional woman who a successful attorney. She is also registered for one of my upcoming Cabin Experiences.
She and I have never met and my only live contact with her before this was a few weeks ago when she first registered for The Cabin Experience – only then she was upbeat, inquisitive and has high expectations as to the benefits of participating in a Breaking Free – Personal Freedom Retreat of this kind.
This time was different. It was prompted by a recent turn of events that was putting enough financial pressure on her, that she was questioning dropping out of The Cabin, so she could save the money. I could hear the angst, the pain and uncertainty on the phone and true to a common pattern, the usually positive woman sounded scared and afraid.
So, we scheduled the one hour consultation that I alluded to earlier. It’s purpose was not to talk her into changing her mind and coming to The Cabin, but rather to hear her “story” (yes, everyone of us has a “story” to tell, especially when things go wrong) and see if I could be of assistance in changing her perception and the choices she was making.
When a person goes into fear (which is an emotion of course, all logic flies out the window) and the victim either looks for something or someone to blame or they blame themselves.
During her story (she exhausted her savings to buy the home of her choice, relocated her professional office out of a building she owned and left tenants to pay the mortgage – only a few of them didn’t renew their leases and on major tenant who rented a large square footage moved out.
I, sure that none of us would be happy and probably all of us would have some concern if we were in the same position. But, I am also sure that each of us would REACT differently to the same circumstances. Some would panic, flame the fires of the poverty and self-worth issues yet unresolved within, while other would select different thought processes and actions – and life would go on.
Interestingly enough, as this very bright and intelligent woman told her story, I observed the tone of her voice, the emotion, the fear and that fact that she was constantly putting herself down and that she dreaded the future.
She kept saying things like, I made stupid decisions, I am very worried and that money is so tight, I just don’t know what I will do. I have no money saved, I need to get more tenants immediately and I need to get more clients – and My concern is this or that – and around it went like a hamster on a wheel. Then the final touch – I can’t even sleep, because my mind keeps going over this stuff again and again.
Prey tell – how exactly does this kind of thinking, emotion and negative self-talk help solve the problem? Or is it this kind of thinking (even if it was hidden in the subconscious mind) responsible for attracting all the problems in the first place. Something to ponder, I think you would agree.
Remember, YOU ATTRACT INOT YOUR LIFE YOUR FEELINGS and therefore you must, by choice, regardless of circumstances purposely select thoughts and feelings that move you away from your pain and the paint the picture of the solution. Would she starve to death if no one rented the space or was she just planting those seed in her mind.
Well, after I listened carefully and paid close attention to the details of her story, I start to give her a list of better choices that she could make. We talked about what she would feel kike if all her problems were solved, as if by magic. We talked about positive outcomes and lofty dreams. We spoke about wonderful relationships, a thriving practice, an abundance of money – we created scenarios of happiness and fulfillment and what do you think happened?
Yes, one hour later I was speaking to an entirely different person – The new woman seemed to be gathering courage, appeared to be unafraid and ready to face up to the past, and create the actions that would build a better future. She was turned around – and we were both thrilled.
And, by the way, she is coming to The Cabin Experience where she belongs. With other great people who are desirous of building their own dreams.
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