Self-Confidence - 6/21/2008

Self-Confidence

Yes, “Self-Confidence,” a word that we all hear every day and even acknowledge as being a terrific characteristic of a personality, yet it is a very practical word that is often misunderstood.  Self-confidence is definitely one of the major catalysts for success and is the antithesis or opposite of the demon called fear.

Self-confidence is an internal mindset that grows by having the right attitude to begin with and then it is fostered by all the achievements that come as a result of it.  Self-confidence on the inside is displayed and visible on the outside by courage, guts, audacity, determination and action.

A self-confident person has a feeling that they are indeed worthy of success and not a feeling that always questions if they are worthy enough to achieve anything.

In my experience with thousands of clients who are in the process of growing their confidence, which is a good thing, I have noticed that all of them have come to know that if something they do is ill-conceived or they actually fail at a task – they NEVER view themselves as a failure.

It becomes okay for them to say, “Wow, I certainly screwed that up” or “I got that wrong,” or “It failed because I either didn’t know enough, or spend enough time with it, or didn’t do my do diligence,” – whatever – BUT, they also feel or say, “I am not a failure, because what I attempted failed.”

That is huge and it is for EVERYTHING -- from failing a test, to failing at a business venture or a marriage or at a sporting event – EVERYTHING.

Self-confident people have a righting mechanism, much like a cat that always lands on their feet. Only in their case, the righting mechanism causes them to take an optimistic approach – one that says, “Yes, that took some time or cost me some money and I got it all wrong, but if I blame myself, put myself down and fret over the results, it will, if repeated enough cause me to create a fear that could stop me in the future.

Instead I fully acknowledge the failure and the fact that I was fully or partially responsible, but I intent to stand up one more time than I have been knocked down, and I will start over again – or this or any other project that I deem important.

Here is a poem that I read in Napolean Hill’s master work, “The Law of Success” which was the first self-help book I ever read (way back before electricity was discovered).  It goes like this:

If you think you are beaten, you are;

                             If you think you dare not, you don’t;

                        If you like to win, but you think you can’t,

                             It is almost certain you won’t.

                        If you think you’ll lose, you’ve lost,

                             For out of the world we find

                        Success begins with a person’s will,

                             It’s all in the state of mind.

                        If you think you are outclassed, you are,

                             You’ve got to think high to rise;

                        You’ve got to be sure of yourself before

                             You can ever win a prize.

                        Life’s battles don’t always go

                             To the stronger of faster man;

                        But sooner or later the man who wins,

                              Is the man who thinks he can.

For sure that poem is simple, elegant, truthful and accurate, I think you would agree.

In ending, remember that others will believe in you, when you believe in yourself. They will “tune in” on your thoughts and feel toward you just as you feel toward yourself. That is because your behavior literally broadcasts your self-confidence.

So, act like you are self-confident until it becomes a habit – You will love the results.

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